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back in action

Could I have been any worse at updating lately? It said 9 weeks since I last wrote and I'm going to have to go back and see what I had to say, because I can't even remember that far back.

Lots of goings on, so I'm going to try to keep it brief...also because I don't really want to talk about it all. Got a job at Panera in Augusta. HATED it. It was so disorganized and poorly run on top of being staffed almost entirely with bitchy 16-18 year old girls. I stuck it out briefly, but then got a lead that Starbucks in Bangor was hiring. Talked to the new manager up there and she was all set to hire me. Talked to her again on the day that I quit Panera and she decided she didn't want to. Lots of drama from Waterville Starbucks which isn't even the last one I worked at. Annoyed with that. Manager from Bangor and I spoke again a few days later and she was prepared to go against her gut and hire me, but I said no thank you, because I do not want/deserve to work in a place where I can't do my job because someone from my past work history doesn't like me and wants to make my life miserable. It's a long story and suffice it to say I am unable to perpetuate that cycle at this point in my life. So, Starbucks appears to be a closed chapter in my life for the time being. At least in Central Maine and I am feeling oddly pleased and content with that. The unfortunate part there is that I am left only with a part time seasonal job at Barnes & Noble. So far I have worked one shift and they have not called me to come in again. Think they overstaffed for the holidays to be honest. Fantastic.

All of this leaves me in and extremely uncomfortable and moderately impossible financial position, but the upshot is that I have put in all of my paperwork to start substitute teaching. Starting with K-6 and Special Ed. Next year I'll probably add on Jr. & Sr. High Schools too. I have the paperwork in for SAD 49, but once I get my fingerprinting done I can just apply over in Waterville too. It's $63 bucks a day and you have the option to say no if you don't want to do it on any given day. So while the whole job thing has been such an absolute mess lately, it really is working out for the better here (as the Special Education field is where I would eventually like to be trained and end up full time) as long as I can make it through the next month...with Christmas and such I don't know how it's going to work, but I'll just close my eyes and have some faith while doing the best I can.

It's hard to be excited for the holidays given my financial situation, but I can't help it. I am like a little kid sometimes. I can't wait to put up my lame little tree in an apartment that could support two full sized Christmas trees and to spread out my sad collection of decorations over this large place. It will look and seem so silly, but I'll be so happy with it. Also looking forward to decorating and doing the tree thing at my parents' house. That house is always so decked out and Christmas is such a huge deal! FUN! I would never have made it living 2 hours aways from all the festivities! This Christmas is so much more about the spirit to me. Having a lack of funds is actually really good sometimes, it forces you to look around and see what you are really doing and what is really going on. Sometimes I think that Christmas is already lost because people can't see beyond lists, budgets, and things they "have to" do.

I'm still in love with my apartment and being able to see my family and friends on a very regular basis is adding a calm to my life than I have not had in a long time. I just keep waiting for things to stabilize with the job and I feel like things will be all right. But then again, as I look around I seem to feel like a lot of my life is just trying to get through one more thing to make it okay. I don't know, but I somehow have faith that this time it's true...

Comments

( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
9thsong
Dec. 3rd, 2009 03:22 am (UTC)
Maybe it's silly to cling to things like this, but your comment is probably the most meaningful thing anyone has said to me in a long time. I've always wanted to feel like a good writer and never ever have. Thank you so much for sharing this thought with me. It has made my day...week...month...
(Deleted comment)
9thsong
Dec. 3rd, 2009 03:45 am (UTC)
Haha! Amen! What's your schedule like? I'm eerily free these days. :)
(Deleted comment)
9thsong
Dec. 3rd, 2009 03:55 am (UTC)
Let's see right now I have have 3 days with plans and they are all this weekend - 4th,5th,6th. :( Got anything else? If not I can rework some things for sure.
(Deleted comment)
9thsong
Dec. 6th, 2009 12:46 am (UTC)
Sure. What time sounds good to you? I'm pretty sure I don't have anything going on that day. And where would you like to go? I'm flexible!
(Deleted comment)
9thsong
Dec. 10th, 2009 03:20 am (UTC)
Oh, I didn't see. Sorry! Works for me! I'll be there!
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )

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