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stupid = between me and the coffee pot

man, why is life so complicated? why is everything to do with money and time and SHOULDS? i really hate shoulds. i do without them as much as possible. i want a magic trick that makes money happen, because i'm going to be honest here, it's the only thing that causes me major stress. i've come to a wonderful place in my life with everything else. but, hey, i'm not alone with that, huh?

i am reminded that i have a problem with alcohol lurking underneath the rest of my neuroses and issues. becky made us all sex on the beach last night. i only had two small drinks, but now it's 9:16am and i am thinking about how much i would love a drink. i do that. i don't drink anything for a while and then when i finally do i don't ever want to stop. i could just suck a beer down right now, but the thought of that scares me. so this is why i think it's not yet a problem, but it is certainly an animal i have to be careful about poking.

i love coffee. i can't believe it's less than a week until christmas. i am hungry, but i am not interested in food today - at all.

my mood can be attributed to the following - my dad comes home today from his latest business trip. i am supposed to go pick him up at the airport in portland as always. apparently there is crappy weather in philidelphia so they shut down the airport there. we expected this. but he starts calling and texting at 7am (i wasn't going to get up until 7:30). basically it was "get me home". as though it is my job. as though you don't have an iphone (he does) and as though your fingers won't work (they do) and as though you are not AT an airport to talk to rental car place (he was). and because of that iphone he does this rapid fire texting thing where i will get 8 messages before i can even finish reading the first one. so first thing this morning i am awoken by message after message "call the rental places", "or check the bus stations", "or you can come get me", "enterprise won't do a one way, call avis, budget, or something else", "found a place to rent, book it now" etc., etc., etc...... ARG!!!! not to mention this is all before coffee. my mom booked it for me after i called to see if avis had a car. many thanks to her - she's really the one that bailed me out of total bitchiness for the day.

so not a bad mood, but i am definitely punchy and fired up today. i have to meet him in portland at 1:45pm - bring it on and god save him! :)

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